The day

Today is the day that the Fellowship of the Ring was published in the UK in 1954.

The story begins

Holmes and Prof. M

The Bard is now officially part of the scriptwriting team.

Now, over the past few minutes, the Bard and I have concluded that:

1) when all sensible characters are eliminated, the one that remains, however insensible, must be sherlock holmes

Thus Sherlock Holmes shall also be a part of the movie.

2) Quite a few people have told me that the plot does not classify as a tragedy. The reason is that the complete plot has not yet been put up. You see, one of the major characters has not yet been made visible. So let me tell you a story:

When Sherlock Holmes pushed Prof. Moriarty down the cliff, Prof. Moriarty did not die. Rather, he hurt the second and third vertebrae, which led to a natural lobotomy of the psychodermic eglongata (which, as everyone knows, is responsible for color recognition and the phobias). Fortunately for Prof Moriarty, this fall also cured him of lymphocircomaphobia, which he had acquired by watching Rajesh khanna for too long in Anand.

The trauma of this fall led to Prof. Moriarty suffering from cloriphobia, the fear of colors. In order to get rid of the headaches and the madness this fall was giving him, he contacted Oedipus in Greece, who adviced him that the best thing to do would be to stab his eyes with a blunt knife.

Additionally, Prof. Moriarty also managed to get his hands upon the machine developed by Dr. Frankenstein, and used that in conjunction to the latest chip implanting device developed by the FBI, to stuff a chip in his brain, that helped him to see things in wavelengths. The units of the wavelength, of course, are the standard milli inches.

(The only thing that now remains in this sub-sub plot is to account for the glasses that Prof. Moriarty broke during his fall)

The Movie (cont...)

Continuing from the comments of the previous series:

1) How do we know that the key is to destroy the anklet?

By Rachna, of course. Rachna is a sort of Cassandra, just that everyone listens to her. The advantage of having her in this role is that she has the make up for this already (the really bitchy and slutty makeup). However, bapu (in Vicksy, of course) has already gone to Rachna and made her promise that she will not tell anyone about the anklet.

However, Rachna will be bribed for 30 *pieces* of nutless Hot Chocolate Fudge, with the threat that if she disagrees, she would be forced to eat 30 HCF's which are full of nuts.

2) Jassi has actually given a very cool idea. This will be the ending of the grand series. To reiterate, I just copy his comment:

baapu due to his nice skills gets a job of an accountant at chitragupts' (24/7 job), only sees DJ as a name in the logs of destinies, tries to manipulate and gets demoted to clerk, gets caught dreaming abt DJ and ends up being a peon (chai banai padti hai roz) and has taken up drugs so confuses his job with that of bartenders , chtgpt office with indralok, and ofcourse thick files with "DJ".

Note how everything has been perfectly thought out (even the number of HCF's for Rachna are 30)!!

The cat

Here is one of the songs that Vicksy shall torture the general populace with:

(who said that writing songs/poems was tough)

In the month of June
there roamed in the alleys a cat
which saw in the light of the moon
a big bad rat

The rat it called an ant
and itself an armadillo
for this was the alleycats' cant
and so could not be a peccadillo

The cat had escaped from a witch
who, like all witches, thought she had the might
(for as witches go, she was pretty much a bitch)
to steal the light and make all a night

For the correct feeling of despair, horrow and terror, the tune will be of humpty dumpty.

The next post (coming in a few minutes), shall contribute to the roles of the other characters